Abide With Me, by Elizabeth Strout * * * *

Tyler Caskey is a minister in Maine. He has two daughters, and his wife has recently died. That is the premise of this moving novel by Elizabeth Strout. There is not much plot to speak of, in the sense that there are very few big events in the novel, other than Tyler's wife dying, which is revisited several times in the book.

Strout describes well the life of a minister in relation to the congregation. There are certain expectations, and when those expectations are not met there can be trouble for the minister. Tyler, in the eyes of his congregation, is not meeting those expectations. I think the congregation, as presented in this novel, is incredibly selfish. It is almost as if they refuse to recognize Tyler's grief at the loss of his wife, as well as the struggle he is facing in raising one daughter alone (the youngest is living with her grandmother). Yes, Tyler is letting some of his responsibilities fall through the cracks. Yes, he is no longer the preacher he used to be. But he is grieving his wife. The sad thing is that this is a pretty accurate picture of some congregations. The minister is not always given the understanding that he/she deserves or needs.

This is not to mention that several members of the congregation behave worse than Tyler. One member is having an affair with a woman. In this sense the congregation fails to live up to its own standards it sets for its minister.

There is a switch in the book. In the beginning it seems as though Tyler is doing okay. Sad, yes, but managing to function. Most of the focus is on his daughter, who refuses to speak, is disruptive in school, etc. Obviously, she is grieving for her mother. By the end of the book it is obvious Tyler is grieving, in a very hard and serious way. By the end of the story he is no longer able to function. His sadness and inability to move on almost seems to creep up on him slowly until he has a complete breakdown and almost loses his congregation.

Faith, obviously, is a central theme in this book. Tyler never really loses his faith, or belief in God. What he loses in the end is his ability to rely on that faith to carry through his time of suffering. The faith of his congregation is at times doubtful because they are too concerned with gossip and power to concern themselves with actually having faith. Tyler's wife, Lauren, has a faith in which she blames God for her death. Strout describes well what happens to faith in times of sadness: faith that holds, but cannot be lived out, in times of struggle on the part of Tyler; and a faith that shatters when disaster strikes on the part of Lauren. There are more aspects of faith, yes. But between Tyler and Lauren I think one can see the two main reactions to suffering and death.

The only thing I do not like about this book is some of the language. This is especially true in the storyline of the church member who is having an affair. That storyline is important to the novel, but some of the vulgar language I find to be out of place and unnecessary.

Tyler is a very real character, going through a very real struggle. The same is true of his daughter. The novel is well written, and depicts well the pain we all sometimes feel when we lose someone we love.